Two steps forward, one step back

I think I'm in hormone overload. Unfortunately for my two, faithful male readers, they won't understand. I'm still needing a slightly irrational female to start chiming in because the topics lately have been much more estrogen friendly. I don't know if it's three months of hormones making me this volatile, but something's got to give. It seems when a euphoric experience occurs, down the road is a Debbie Downer moment just waiting to happen. I am my own Debbie Downer (cue: wa-wa-wah!) I don't mean to be, but these feelings and emotions have just been coming out lately, and old wounds are harder and harder to heal. I feel like this blog is supposed to help. I experience, live, struggle and attempt to record it as a means of expression and self-medication. Feedback is only an added bonus. I do this for me, and not readers. I was asked once what my purpose for this blog was and then, I really didn't have one. Now, I see it as a documented journey of my life and all of the particulars that seem to make my emotional headlines. It's an opportunity for self-discovery and improvement, with a few random accents that include weird news, pop culture and current events. I'm clearly not one dimensional. But in this journey I should see improvement right? Shouldn't I be able to recognize the problems, and start finding my way towards the solution? I think so, but in my case the solution part isn't even coming close to happening. It seems I have more issues than I anticipated. I'm still finding my flaws, and emotional insecurites. They are stacking up, and I will have a lot to work on. Granted, I think I may have an excuse on why it's ridiculous right now (see: irregular periods which make for 3 months of nothingness, and then boom, I need meds and a transfusion..sorry guys), but overall I'm a mess. Maybe therapy wasn't such a bad idea.

1 comment:

DC said...

as a guy who goes through some woman-like ups and downs, you know i got your back, leens :)