Four turnoffs

1) Lack of creativity

2) Selfishness

3) Facial hair

4) Self-conciousness



Five people that mean a lot (in no particular order)

Preface: I decided I'm going to pick completely random, unexpected people. People that aren't obvious (mom, dad, sister, nieces etc) but are important to me.

Oh, but I just had to include my main man.

So there.

1) Joey

2) Corina

3) Allison

4) David

5) T.O.



Six things you wished you'd never done.

1) Blew off projects in college

2) Open my mouth and insert my foot into it

3) Getting involved with ______!!!

4) Taking my parents for granted.

5) Want(ed) more than what I had/have...

6) Avoiding the removal of my wisdom teeth

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Name That Food

I take pictures of food. I'm not sure why. These are some I have stored in my trusty iPhone.

Don't judge.

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Live Plant! Live!

My school secretary lost her mother early this school year and was given a plant that looks to be on it's very own death bed. (Get it? Death bed! Flower bed! Wait, was that insensitive?)


I've called in PPS (Plant Protective Services) and have personally taken custody of the plant.

After making a mess of crusty leaves and blooms in my car, I drove it to Home Depot where they couldn't identify it's type, but suggested replanting it (which I thought was a no-no with dying plants). I bought a planter and the soil they suggested and replanted it.

I'll keep you posted on it's progress or ultimate demise. I'm also open to suggestions and any references that will allow me to identify it less than 5 minutes. I'm dedicated but those plant websites are a bore.

In other news, my roses have opened up beautifully!

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Seven Things That Cross My Mind A Lot

1) My sweet angel baby.

2) My mom and dad's health.

3) What do (certain) people really think about me?

4) Am I doing the right thing at the right time?

5) I need to get my wisdom teeth pulled.

6) How is he doing?

7) Ooh. I should (insert something really cool) this weekend (but never do).

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Eight Ways To Win Your Heart

It's a bit weird writing this as my heart has been won, but many of these apply in non romantic settings. Also, my husband has been known to read my blog every blue moon so I might drop some hints...

1) Laugh at my jokes - I think I can be pretty hilarious, I want you to feel the same way.

2) Love dogs, especially my weiners!

3) Show your artistic side (art, music, film etc), even if it's just showing interest in it.

4) Appreciate the fact that I take care of myself and never leave the house without lip gloss as I strive to not let myself go and always look good for you.

5) Surprise me with tickets to some live music or the museum.

6) Love my mom.

7) Hang out with my friends.

8) Be there when I need you - even if you try and I don't respond, at least I know you tried.

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Nine things about yourself

1) I pay way too much attention on finger and toenails, I'm either working on mine to look perfect or judging yours.

2) I've always wanted to be on SNL.

3) Lately I feel old and boring, when did this happen?

4) When I got married and said goodbye to my close male friendships, I think I lost 90% of my friends.

5) When I reflect on myself over time I've somehow substituted my adjectives for characters on Sex and The City, i.e. "Ugh, I was being such a Miranda last night!"

6) I feel guilty after spending any amount of money, even if it's small and necessary, and we're not even stressed financially!

7) Sometimes when I'm stressed I think about how good life was back home, when I was young and without worry, but when I go back home - I think of all the bad things that have happened there.

8) I wish our parents would move in with us so I can be with them all the time and know they're okay, kind of like Charlie from Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory, but not poor and in separate rooms.

9) (Some) people would be surprised to know what a little deviant I can be.



I've been needing a fresh idea for my blog lately and didn't want to reduce myself to more toilet entries so I was pretty excited to read about the 10 Day Challenge (TDC) via Yessi's blog. The idea was passed to her from a friend and now to me. Let's see if I can remember to blog during the next ten days, I guess that is the challenge!

DAY 1: Ten things you want to say to ten different people you know.

1) I love you but you’re not who you think I am and that kills me.

2) I know deep inside you know, but you love me anyway and it means the world to me.

3) I wish you were nicer to your family.

4) I wish you didn’t drink so much.

5) I think about you more than you know and I wish I knew then what I know now.

6) You’re not perfect, not even close so stop acting like it.

7) I miss you, I miss you, I miss you but I’m so mad and hurt with you.

8) I wish you’d grow up and stop playing the victim.

9) Don’t call me a friend and not truly be there.

10) I wonder if you are in the same boat as me? I think so.


Mariachi Festival

We wanted to do something different this weekend so we hit up the local mariachi festival in our new town of Grand Prairie. It was right on the lake, a bit too warm for my preference, but the music was wonderful. These groups weren't just a couple of viejos with a guitar, these were legit.
I missed the name of the first group we saw (in the black) but the second group (in the red) was Mariachi de Oro from Fort Worth and they made us want to run out and buy every mariachi cd out there. Good music, great day.

Blogging + Pain Pills = Bad Choice

So I blogged from the toilet...that's a first.

Definitely not planned, and in my defense I was on many, MANY milligrams of hydrocodone but was still very aware of the fact I was blogging. Of course I wasn't entirely sure what was blogged until today when I felt ready to read it. I guess no one could ever say my blog isn't raw.

A lot has happened since then and I can honestly say I'm in a good place. My miscarriage didn't occur until the next evening and it was painful in so many ways. I won't get into detail but I've never felt so helpless. Ironically, it was sort of a relief. After having everything in me, even after the fact I knew my baby was gone only made things harder, so to know the process to rid my body of those things was underway I felt I was closer to my mental and physical recovery. Many people asked why I chose to induce and m/c naturally versus a D&C procedure and to me, there wasn't a choice. My emotional and mental pain was so severe that a 30 minute procedure that would eliminate any traces of a pregnancy seemed too, simple, almost cold. I felt like I needed to experience the process. I wanted to feel my physical pain vindicate the tears and overwhelming since of grief I had been feeling. I didn't want to be intubated and unconscious so I chose the long road.

I can't begin to tell you what this process has done for me.

Being a Christian I can honestly say God can turn every dark and awful situation into something good. Although I'm still heartbroken and miss talking to my baby, praying for him and or just feeling pregnant - I know now, I can get pregnant! There was a lot of doubt before but now I know I am in fact, not broken. Knowing this has also kept my happiness for my pregnant friends in tact. I was concerned I would be bitter, resentful or just too emotional to talk babies but I almost feel a bit more excited for them then I was in the first place. It feels so weird to say because it almost doesn't feel natural! It has also taken my marriage to another level. Never did I ever imagine that we could become so much closer. I almost feel like we were strangers before this.

I don't know what the road ahead offers but I feel honored and blessed to even have had the opportunity to carry that precious baby for as long as I did. I now have an angel baby waiting for me in heaven.



I received a comment to blog soon. At the time I was so excited to but never got around to it. I was excited to have yet another portal to share our good news. After over three years of trying, months of meds and many tears, we finally got the positive test!
The pregnancy was caught early, I was able to see my little guy at 5 weeks, heartbeat and all. I've been in awe of it since.

Now here I am, blogging mid miscarriage.

Last Thursday I went for a second sonogram, although my sweet pea had a heartbeat at the first sono, it was a bit slow so we rescheduled to ensure all was well. All was not well. My little sweet pea was no where to be found, nor did we hear a heartbeat. After more tests, blood work, and many bouts of tears, yelling, and panic attacks here I am physically feeling my precious baby leave my body.
I was induced with medication earlier to pass the sac and remaining tissue. I'm in a lot of physical pain, the vicodin is barely helping but I'm good. I'm strong and ready for what's next. My heart is still heavy, but my faith is stronger then ever. I don't know why I felt the need to share this now, so poorly written and from a toilet nonetheless (too much info?) but I've been so quiet, I needed to get this out. I've isolated myself to my mom, husband and a couple close friends and anonymity of this blog makes this another safe refuge. There may be more to come, I'm a ball of emotions and this is still processing. This may not be the most entertaining blog but if it helps one person that comes across then it's worth it. I know right now I can't read enough of others miscarriage stories, I feel like I'm a part of a new sisterhood.
Blah. I'm rambling now.
The pain is a bit much, hard to focus..

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