9.14.2010

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I received a comment to blog soon. At the time I was so excited to but never got around to it. I was excited to have yet another portal to share our good news. After over three years of trying, months of meds and many tears, we finally got the positive test!
The pregnancy was caught early, I was able to see my little guy at 5 weeks, heartbeat and all. I've been in awe of it since.

Now here I am, blogging mid miscarriage.

Last Thursday I went for a second sonogram, although my sweet pea had a heartbeat at the first sono, it was a bit slow so we rescheduled to ensure all was well. All was not well. My little sweet pea was no where to be found, nor did we hear a heartbeat. After more tests, blood work, and many bouts of tears, yelling, and panic attacks here I am physically feeling my precious baby leave my body.
I was induced with medication earlier to pass the sac and remaining tissue. I'm in a lot of physical pain, the vicodin is barely helping but I'm good. I'm strong and ready for what's next. My heart is still heavy, but my faith is stronger then ever. I don't know why I felt the need to share this now, so poorly written and from a toilet nonetheless (too much info?) but I've been so quiet, I needed to get this out. I've isolated myself to my mom, husband and a couple close friends and anonymity of this blog makes this another safe refuge. There may be more to come, I'm a ball of emotions and this is still processing. This may not be the most entertaining blog but if it helps one person that comes across then it's worth it. I know right now I can't read enough of others miscarriage stories, I feel like I'm a part of a new sisterhood.
Blah. I'm rambling now.
The pain is a bit much, hard to focus..


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

4 comments:

Dom and Trey said...

I'm truly sorry to hear about your miscarriage. I'm praying for you.

The Powells said...

Hugs and prayers - Stina

David said...

i couldn't think of anything to say that would hold much weight other than I'm praying for you and I'm here for you. You've got great people around you, but if you need anybody, I'm here.

andrea said...

i'm finally catching up on my reading of your blog and i'm so so sorry to hear about you miscarriage. i don't have any other words of consolation. just know that my warm thoughts are with you.