Once last thought

I had the pleasure of talking to two good, no, best friends in the past 24 hours. One, Derrick, I've known since high school and he's been a best friend ever since. He's the male me. He's my Jerry, I, his Elaine. We don't get to talk that often, you see, these two friends are doing great things in life. He's working in D.C., with a state representative, he's been at this for a few years already and I know there are bigger things to come for him. The other, Stephanie, is in med school. It will be a couple more years before she'll be my future child's pediatrician, but she's about to start her baby delivering skills. Both are super ambitious, goal-oriented, and driven. I know that is partly what drew me to them. It seems I'm easily drawn to these types, my friends, old and new, are a reflection of that. Heck, my husband is the epitomy of drive. So then I wonder, where did mine go? According to my 5 year plan after college I should be at an agency, as a big time art director with an amazing portfolio. I should already be a home owner, debt free, and owner of some uber nice things. I should wear suits everyday, and treat my parents to expensive gifts and crusies. But I'm not even close. I look back and wonder where the regret is? I convince myself it should be there, but I can't find it. My priorities were different. I should be in the same race with these people. I should have equally important stories to share, and I don't. What stories do I share? Simple. I share each others. You see, I don't regret that I have a humble job, modest living, and still in debt, because I changed my path. I didn't let my path change me. What began to evolve in me after college was a different plan, a different motivation. My stories, are theirs. You see, I love my friends and family. I am proud of what they do, and who they've become. They make this world a better place. My accomplishments also stem from theirs. I'd much rather tell you how great Joey did with his team this year and all the awards and acolades he receieved. I much rather tell you that Keegan is the best reader in her school. And I'd rather tell you that I have these groups of friends that are really going somewhere in life and how proud I am of them. I much rather spend my time telling you I have this girlfriend that is struggling with the fight of her life, but she is so strong, she's showing that cancer who is boss. MY motivation are these people. My goals have changed. Forget art director and incredible portfolio - if that is meant for me, then it will be. What I aim for is: incredible wife, outstanding mother, supportive friend and number one cheerleader for all my loved ones around me. I am not only content, but I am with joy. It's been a long time coming.

1 comment:

DC said...

:) a refreshing read. Thanks for that, Leens. At the end of the day, what I've come to realize is that if you don't have positive relationships, everything else stops mattering.