7.02.2007

Blah

Today was good, mostly, if you look in terms of productiveness. I did most of today's work on Friday since I volunteered to help roll our annual July 4 coloring books. Two thousand were ordered but instead we recieved five thousand! Needless to say there was a lot of rolling to do which came with a few benefits. One being, of course, helping out another department when I could've worked on something else. Another being the fellowship. At one point there was about a dozen ladies, all very different, which makes for interesting conversations. The third, and the best, free lunch from Holy Ravioli. I love that place. I stayed a little late after work getting some pages done early and headed home where my other half was watching soccer. So it begins, again. I begin to cook dinner, and instead of getting super pissed that I worked a full day, get home late and STILL have to make dinner, Iet it go. We still have to study algebra/geometry and I need as much mental strength I could gather. We eat, then we study. Now, the whole situation with this test is to further qualify myself for an alternative certification program for me to begin teaching. Sounds good right? It's is to a certain extent, but I'm confused. The benefits for me to begin teaching goes as follows: Better pay, better hours, fulfilling a long term goal, and allowing a better opportunity to start a family. The cons, well there isn't. The cons only come because of timing. Let me explain. I love my current job. I love the people, the work isn't the most challenging, but it makes you think and it has a lot to offer in many other ways. I hate the idea of leaving because of those reasons and the growth potential in our product which could eventually be a benefit for everyone. I haven't been able to stay at one job for more than a year lately (because we have lived in three different cities since we wed two years ago) and never have I ever liked a job involving design which is a big deal seeing how a year ago I shunned the field. So, I still want to teach, eventually, but don't know that I'm ready to leave the paper. I don't want to miss out on any opportunities. Teaching will always be there, but it's time to put in someone else's control. I'll study hard, take the test and whatever happens, happens. I'll work my butt off either way and won't restrict myself so much. One thing I learned from a good friend back in Abilene was, "there's always a work-around," so I'm willing to see what that is, and welcome it with open arms. I will try not to stress too much, and take it all so personally. It's just difficult. I hate not being good at something. I have a lot of drive, and it works against me a lot. I dissapoint myself too easily and it's something I need to work on, among other things. Thank God for patient people who put up with me.

2 comments:

lalitha said...

hello..."random stranger and new bloger".. its feels great 2 b agreed with.. n hey nice blog!! keep going... and all the best with your career. There's a school of philosophy which says... give your best to whatever task is at hand, and leave the result to god or fate or whatever you choose to call a superior power... I find that it comes in very useful in confusing situations... maybe you will find it helpful too...
:)

Lena said...

Wow, that's exactly how I found peace with this situation last night. In my case, it would be God, and I'm glad he's calling the shots on this on new friend :)