I never start a blog with a picture. I always write some fluff, and insert pic. This time the picture is very symbolic. A woman's refuge can be a number of things, sex, gossip, alcohol, religion, or...chocolate. I had a lunch meeting with some girlfriends about an upcoming baby shower we're hosting. Of course, there was a lot of catching up to do. I left lunch very surprised, touched, and...surprised. The collapsing tower of chocolate was beautiful and delicious...but still collapsing.
It seems two of my most fashionably fabulous single friends have met their match, for now at least. We never know how these things are going to go, but in so many ways it's perfect. These men are caring, supportive, and have never made these girls feel more comfortable in their own skin. Let me describe the girls. One, is radiant and bubbly. She is optimistic but doesn't not always see how beautiful she really is. The other, is an exotic beauty. She is independent and the poster child of caring and Christian. She is a traveler and cultured. These girls deserve the utmost happiness, and in two men they have found it. Great right?
Of course not. It's never that easy.
The first girl, has found companionship and feelings for a slightly older gentleman. Thirty-nine to be exact. Not that there's anything wrong with that. I can appreciate the older man on so many levels. I think it a lot of times, it's the way to go for many women. It seems the family is as supportive as a family can be when the girl is in her early twenties. He's going through some life changes (divorce) and has acquired along the way some remnants of those changes (children, two to be exact). Now, that's a lot to take in as the new girlfriend, but she is happy, so we'll see how it goes.
As for friend number two. She's older, twenty-seven, and has done more for others that she has ever done for herself. I can't even remember the last time she had a serious relationship, it's not her, I believe her responsibilities to her family has made it difficult to focus on much else. This new man in her life is a fairly recent addition, but she has muttered the "L" word for the first time. This is big news. What's the catch? He's Muslim. Yeah. Ouch. Again, not that there's anything wrong with that. I've researched the religion thoroughly and it's a beautiful belief system and lifestyle. Of course, like most belief systems, there are elements that I wouldn't necessarily support but I grew up in an old school Pentecostal home...I don't exactly take religion at face value. But as a devout Christian who volunteers on missionary trips and participates in church functions, dating a Muslim is not quite what she intended. It's definitely not what mom intended. I can't help but want to defend and support them in this. I've never seen her so happy, or so torn. I'm not crazy. I see the obvious obstacles that would make life so hard for them, but I also know how compromise can not only make you a better person, but help you live a more enriched life. I compromised with my Catholic husband, but Muslim? Different ballpark.
Why is it always something?
These girls deserve happiness. Why can't these men be good in life and paper? Isn't a part of accepting other's differences include these things? If as a society we can accept race, age, and religion, why is it so hard to accept when it hits home? The thing is, I feel they have accepted their mates differences, but will the family and friends that surround them allow them to fully enjoy this new addition? How does one respond? To each his own, but it's not always that easy.
I wish you gals luck.