Puppy love, lost

Today has been hard. Besides hearing news on one of my kids losing his dad to a bullet in the head, and having a girl cry in my arms because she had to testify against her dad in court over molestation charges earlier, I come home to find that someone close to my heart had died.
It's hard to talk about, and I don't even want to hear anyone else even bring it up. It's hard because I never thought this would be so hard. We rescued a dog a week before mother's day. My mother in law had a dachshund, but wanted another, so I really pushed the family in getting her one for the special day. I spent two straight days researching, and locating the perfect dog. We found him, adopted him, and brought him home. He was with us shortly, but this little guy never had a family, so he bonded instantly, as did I. I remember bringing him home vividly. He was the best. It was like he was home..he came in and went straight for the chair where he sat and played with a toy Snoopy we had for him. He didn't hesitate to crawl into bed with us, and the frequent trips outside to potty were hardly bothersome for me. Just the idea of handing him over was hard, but I knew he wasn't mine.
I'm not going to lie. I cried on the way to Abilene, I cried when we arrived, and I cried for days and days after we came back, without him. I remember when I left him for the first time we followed me outside on his leash. He sat on the lawn and had a look like he had no idea why I was leaving. After returning home I would call my mother in law to check on him like a new mother would with the babysitter on her first night out. When I talked to my mother in law, she said he was just spending a lot of time out in the front yard. I was determined he was waiting for us to come back, and it made me feel like I abandoned him. After time, it became easier...when we would visit, he would get so excited. After awhile he was beginning to catch on that my mother in law was his owner, his mom, but there was always a special bond there.
I was able to spend a lot of time with him during Thanksgiving, and I'm especially thankful for that. He was so playful, and loved everyone - even if they couldn't appreciate what a great dog he was. He was high maintenance, ALWAYS wanted to play, but throwing a ball for him to catch was easy work, and he never grew bored of it. He was good with the kids, they loved him, heck, even the mailman liked him.
There's a lot I'm going to miss about him. I can't believe I'm one of those people that let it affect me so. I use to make fun of the animal lovers, but he was family. Christmas will be sad without him. When I received the call I was at the store, with Christmas dog biscuits, and rawhide bones in the cart for his own Christmas stocking. He never got have his first Christmas - but glad he had a family that loved him as much as he did.
I can't explain how I feel right now - but now I know why dogs are so special. God created them to be our company, to make us smile, and love us unconditionally. I will miss that love.


Elise said...

I am so, so sorry about your precious family dog. We had to put our wonderful, sweet family dog to sleep about this time last year and it was AWFUL.

If you really love your pets (and obviously you do), then they are members of the family. Losing a member of the family hurts like crazy, so why would it be any different in this case?

Jeff said...

I am extremely sorry about your loss. Sometimes we tend to love our pets more than we do our human counterparts for the fact that they don't talk back and love you unconditionally.

I suffered through the same kind of feelings you have now when our pet of 16 years finally passed away.

There really isn't anything that anyone can say that will make things any easier, but just know that hopefully time will make things okay.

Christina said...

I'm so sad to hear this.

I used to be cynical toward die hard animal lovers too, but after having Maverick I understand. I don't know what we'd do if we ever lost him.

Dogs love you unconditionally and humans can never reciprocate that.

yessi said...

Yes, ma'am, $2.50 yay!

But no "yay" to the news you shared in this post. I'm so sorry.

Caroline Kaufman said...

so sorry lady... I know how much it hurts to lose a pet. hope your heart is healing....

yessi said...

Picosita, where are you?