Open letter to a bad friend...

Bad friend,

I'm hurt.

Over the past couple of years or so I've invested time and energy in our friendship that has just, well, fizzled over the past few months. I can handle fizzling. What I can't handle is telling me you're going to be there and then not be there. I can't comprehend why you say you value our friendship yet can't even talk to me on a semi regular basis. But you know what? it's not that...it's actually not even that. You know what it is? The fact that you took an interest in my sick uncle, asked if you could do anything, I tell you to visit him, you say you might (which isn't a YES, I know) but then you don't visit. What I didn't tell you is that I told my uncle I talked to you, and that you might be coming. He can't talk because of the breathing tube but he raised his eyebrows and smiled. Later that week I lost it. I told you I lost it. I had been cooped up in the hospital for three days, from 9 in the morning to 10 at night and I was emotionally exhausted. My uncle means so much to me. He never married or had kids - he only has us and I couldn't stand to see him in the condition he was (and still is) in. I needed to vent. I needed to cry. And for some reason I thought, you would understand and would want to talk. You went through this with a parent, I thought you might have some advice or some words you could share that helped you. My mom was there for your family, you couldn't visit for her? For my cousin (who I know has hurt you in the past, but once in the past ya'll were good friends too), him either? You couldn't even take two seconds to text me back right away that night because you were out. You knew I was upset - and no follow up. Nothing except a snarky Facebook comment. Seriously? That's crap, and if you don't know it well you are far too up the butt of this lifestyle you are living to notice. The only thing keeping me from telling you this personally is that it would involve an act of God for us to speak, and because I don't think it's worth me hearing your line of excuses and self superiority. I'm disappointed because I would have been a forever friend and you know this - but this is one of those things that will be really hard to forget.

I know this is one of the least mature things I could have done but this is my time to vent. This is my stage, this is my soapbox and if it makes me feel better after the last two weeks I've been having, well, then I don't regret it.


1 comment:

oh just ehu. said...

Whoa, i can feel the hurt in your letter. I just want to give you a hug. Ugh, I cannot stand people who are full of "self superiority". It's sad when people fail at friendships, thinking that it's okay to talk on a semi regular basis and still count that as doing their part in a friendship. I mean, I understand life gets busy, but man...friendships/relationships take work!