Oh. My. Word.
We are in the car on our way to our hometown now to go to their first event, a baby shower! This is the only time I could blog, sitting between two car seats as daddy is searching for Christmas music that isn't depressing and about love lost on Pandora.
Here are my thoughts so far in no particular order:
1) The initial fear has faded some. We've had a great support system living with us at home so I am a bit worried if I can handle this once they're gone. I feel inept at times because this is so new and my husband is much more natural about it. I know it'll take one moment of being alone with both of them crying and I'll feel more confident, well, once they stop screaming.
2) I can't wait to go to the mall, I see it now...
"Are these your girls? Twins? They're beautiful! So tiny!"
"Yes, they're mine! Thank you!"
"You look great for having twins!"
"Thanks! You know I don't have one single stretch mark and my breasts look fabulous still!"
3) On a more serious note, my biggest hurdle is really within. I don't want to be a control freak mama. I'm naturally a control freak so the idea of my girls even being in a room of 60+ people (hello Mexican baby shower) makes me shudder (because of germs, not because they're Mexicans). Send relaxed, stress free thoughts my way!
4) I already get sad knowing they'll grow so fast and they're barely 6 pounds now!
5) The actual exchange with the birth mother actually was beautiful. There wasn't reluctance on her part, some tears, but she stayed strong. I wish I could say the same, I walked into the sanctuary in tears, overwhelming joy and gratitude. I embraced the birthmother before I ever looked at my daughters. She handed one to me, and our mediator and pastor handed the other to my husband. We talked briefly, prayed and even took photos for the girls when they get older. After the birth mom left, we changed the girls, and our families came over to meet them. We took lots of photos that I'll share on...
6) a mommy blog. Yes. I know I've criticized the mommy blog before. This is my moment of irony and I don't care. I'm keeping this blog fairly baby free and will create an additional blog just about my adventures raising twins. I'll advertise that blog here but probably won't advertise this blog there because I'm a freak like that who doesn't particularly care for people I know reading this.
That's it for now. I see a nap in my future.
*I'm also not editing this because...I'm sleepy.
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