Mall Advertising = Weak Sauce!

So I was at the mall food court filling my face with mall food last night, yes, a Tuesday and I was really annoyed with the ridiculous advertising featured. It wouldn't bother me so much except that it was the same three adds rotating, over, and over, and over, and over. After awhile I began to come up with my own copy for these ads...

I have way too much time on my hands sometimes.