30 Days // Day 5

5) a picture of me two years ago

I'm back in my hometown for the evening, no access to my computer! Boo. It's okay though, I shall leave you with a list about this ridonkulous week of mine...

1) It's come to my attention that there may be more people I know reading this thing than I thought...like people I didn't think did (outside of the few I told about my blog a couple of weeks ago). I'm not sure how I feel about that. This blog isn't for numbers as you can tell, it's very personal and the idea of more people knowing about it gives me a sense of paranoia with a splash of ballsy-ness.

2) I can't link from this blogger app but the friend from my "Letter to a Bad Friend" by some odd force of nature Facebooked me a "hey." I was completely thrown off and with the plethora of emotions I'm feeling with the first cycle after my miscarriage I just thought I would break down to an instant peace treaty. I guess even my hormones were scorned because I just wasn't having it. I don't understand how it took three months and at that, just a "hey". I told him how I felt and it's definitely resolved but I'm not setting myself for further hurt or disappointment. The ball will be in his court from here on out because I'm exhausted with just life and all it's little surprises right now.

3) I'm in my hometown tonight for the first time in three months which is a long time for me. I was going to wait until Thanksgiving but caved. I've been avoiding the whole "Are you okay?" "Don't worry, God will bring you another one." (I wanted this one...) I figured if I waited long enough people would forget. I wish it was that easy for me. Not that I want to forget my baby even existed, but I don't want to hurt anymore. I'll be going back home by noon tomorrow.

4) This week I made some calaveras de azucar a bit early for Día de Los Muertos. They don't taste that great but they sure were fun to make!







Until tomorrow,
P


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