How To Eat Beans

Wrong




Right




Great job on the lesson! Here is your reward, a look at what I ate for breakfast!




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30 Days // Day 5

5) a picture of me two years ago

I'm back in my hometown for the evening, no access to my computer! Boo. It's okay though, I shall leave you with a list about this ridonkulous week of mine...

1) It's come to my attention that there may be more people I know reading this thing than I thought...like people I didn't think did (outside of the few I told about my blog a couple of weeks ago). I'm not sure how I feel about that. This blog isn't for numbers as you can tell, it's very personal and the idea of more people knowing about it gives me a sense of paranoia with a splash of ballsy-ness.

2) I can't link from this blogger app but the friend from my "Letter to a Bad Friend" by some odd force of nature Facebooked me a "hey." I was completely thrown off and with the plethora of emotions I'm feeling with the first cycle after my miscarriage I just thought I would break down to an instant peace treaty. I guess even my hormones were scorned because I just wasn't having it. I don't understand how it took three months and at that, just a "hey". I told him how I felt and it's definitely resolved but I'm not setting myself for further hurt or disappointment. The ball will be in his court from here on out because I'm exhausted with just life and all it's little surprises right now.

3) I'm in my hometown tonight for the first time in three months which is a long time for me. I was going to wait until Thanksgiving but caved. I've been avoiding the whole "Are you okay?" "Don't worry, God will bring you another one." (I wanted this one...) I figured if I waited long enough people would forget. I wish it was that easy for me. Not that I want to forget my baby even existed, but I don't want to hurt anymore. I'll be going back home by noon tomorrow.

4) This week I made some calaveras de azucar a bit early for Día de Los Muertos. They don't taste that great but they sure were fun to make!







Until tomorrow,
P


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30 Days // Day 4

4) My favorite picture of my best friend

I love you mom.




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30 Days // Day 3

3) My idea for the perfect first date

My idea of the perfect first date is a casual dinner on a patio in the city within walking distance to a museum with a new exhibit. We would browse and converse about the art, if he wasn't fluent, he'd at least show an interest and ask my input (or if he was a step ahead he'd do some pre-date some research so he could impress me with a little insight). Afterwards we would end the night at a show, preferably an upbeat group like Bishop Allen or a fun cover band who plays your typical cover band type songs like Jesse's Girl or Brick House.

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30 Days // Day 2

I ate chorizo.




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Frenemies. Part 2

Remember this??? Friend from the past who IGNORED my Facebook message and friend request two years ago but has befriended other friends of mine?

I don't know if this is just irony, or if more people know about my blog than I think, but look what I got today!

I haven't replied yet - not sure what to say NOW?

Still nothing from this person though.

30 Days // Day 1

Day 1 – A photo of yourself and a description of how your day was.

My day was alright. I started off messy. Woke up late because I already fixed my hair last night, and today was "PJ" day at score so my outfit was already decided. Woke up to three texts:

1) Mom: I've been in line since 5:45 a.m. (she was getting tickets for a football game I'll bring up in a later post)

2) Sister: Did you know mom has been in line since 5:45??

3) College BFF: Water broke! 5 weeks early!

Needless to say I was preoccupied with the texts that before I knew it, I was late AND the PJ bottoms I wanted to wear were too tight! I specifically bought these pants last year for PJ day because the ones I wanted to wear were tight so yeah..now these can't hold my trunk junk in enough to not me feel comfortable wearing them around hormone ridden minors. So I nixed those and opted for a pair that were very well hidden in an obscure drawer (which of course means they needed to be ironed).

Grabbed soda, crated the weiners, off to work.

Ugh. Forgot to pick up my lunch.

School, blah, blah, blah...

Husband brings lunch (yay!)

Home/helped a friend with a paper for her college writing class

Considered joining a writing class

Husband's adult league game/kept up with the disappointing Cowboy game

Back home, eating chips and wondering why I committed to a 30 Day Blog Challenge?!?

Oh, and here's my pic, of me eating chips. I should have taken a pic of my trunk with it's lovely junk.

I'm not one of those people that enjoy taking an insane amount of self portraits so yeah, this will do for now.

Coming Soon To A Blog Near You!

So I've graduated from a 10 Day Challenge and am now committing myself to a 30 DAY CHALLENGE starting tomorrow! I stumbled across this while rereading old comments from much older blogs and came across an old blogging friend of mine Ehu who is also going to do the challenge.

Here's the plan!

Day 1 – A photo of yourself and a description of how your day was.

Day 2 – A photo of something you ate today.

Day 3 – Your idea of the perfect first date.

Day 4 – Your favorite photograph of your best friend.

Day 5 – A photo of yourself two years ago.

Day 6 – A photo of an animal you’d love to keep as a pet.

Day 7 – Your dream wedding.

Day 8 – A song to match your mood.

Day 9 – A photo of the item you last purchased.

Day 10 – A photo of your favorite place to eat.

Day 11 – What’s in your makeup bag?

Day 12 – A photograph of the town you live in.

Day 13 – Your favorite musician and why?

Day 14 – A TV show you’re currently addicted to.

Day 15 – Something you don’t leave the house without.

Day 16 – Your celebrity crush.

Day 17 – A photo of you and your family.

Day 18 – Something you crave a lot.

Day 19 – Another picture of yourself.

Day 20 – The meaning behind your blog name.

Day 21 – A photo of something that makes you happy.

Day 22 – A letter to someone who has hurt you recently.

Day 23 – 15 facts about you.

Day 24 – A photo of something that means a lot to you.

Day 25 – What’s in your purse?

Day 26 – A photo of somewhere you’ve been to.

Day 27 – A picture of you last year and now and how have you changed since then?

Day 28 – Your favorite movie.

Day 29 – Something you could never get tired of doing.

Day 30 – A photograph of yourself today + three good things that have happened in the past


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I Want.

I'm sure the neighborhood would hate me...




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Mall Advertising = Weak Sauce!

So I was at the mall food court filling my face with mall food last night, yes, a Tuesday and I was really annoyed with the ridiculous advertising featured. It wouldn't bother me so much except that it was the same three adds rotating, over, and over, and over, and over. After awhile I began to come up with my own copy for these ads...

I have way too much time on my hands sometimes.

I'm Old!

I know I've touched on this subject before but it became all too real this weekend.

Here we go:

Friday 4:00 - Work is over! Happy hour?? Nope...

Friday 4:01 - I stay to get ahead on a supply shipment thus intruding on my weekend

Friday 5:00 - I dig weeds out of my front yard...seriously?

And the rest of the evening I avoid the Texas Ranger game and clean house until midnight.

Saturday 9:00 - Up and at 'em for some co-ed soccer in which the team I'm watching loses every game (but there was a fight, highlight of my weekend? Perhaps.)

Saturday 4:00 - Just got home, NAP!

Saturday 7:00 - Wake up. Ugh. Break plans to go out with another couple to the State Fair of Texas because I'm...old. After that I read some blogs I follow and a few others I've just come across and then it dawns on me, I'm total weak sauce now.

I use to be awesome too.

I read through these blogs of these incredibly interesting (even though they think they are a hot, misunderstood mess) and am inspired.

They write about sex and don't get awkward about it.

They travel, on a whim, they just up and go explore parts of the world.

They are candid and raw, never thinking about or really care what others think if they know their truth.

They do all of these things and don't hide behind a ridiculous pen name like, *ahem* Picosita.

This is the kicker. Even AFTER I decide I'm boring, my husband and I discuss our Halloween plans. The first plan was to go to the Granada Theater and hear T-Bird and The Breaks whilst wearing our much anticipated creative costume (this year we decided on Cheech and Chong...um, hello. Not cute for me at ALL but clever nonetheless), then we were invited to a costume free birthday party for a friend at a cool little bar we've heard a lot about, but I'm not (much of) a drinker. The I precede to say:

"You know what would be awesome? We should just invite two or three couples over and have a game night! It would be fun to just sit around, play games and that way we can see all of the cute little trick or treaters that will be coming by!"

...crickets...

Sigh!

At that moment I knew I needed to do something to let my hair down STAT. (It gets worse) So we left for Furr's (a FREAKIN' OLD PERSONS BUFFET!) but then decided to save the Furr's visit until the next morning and opted for another eatery which resulted us in bed by 10:30.

Fail!

I Hate You Sometimes, Not You...You.

We sailed away on a winter's day
With fate as malleable as clay
But ships are fallible, I say
And the nautical, like all things, fades
And I can recall our caravel
A little wicker beetle shell
With four fine maste and lateen sails
Its bearings on Cair Paravel

Oh my love
Oh it was a funny little thing
To be
The ones
To've seen

Blaaaaah!

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Teen Mom, My Take...

So I can say I've watched my fair share of this show. Although I've grown out of the MTV staples (Real World and all of those ridiculous challenges), I have definitely bought into their other reality programming.

I was totally into The Hills, don't judge, although one might question the "reality" behind the show. I like World of Jenks and the True Life series. The show that seems to have taken the limelight though would have to be Teen Mom.

The show focuses on young mothers previously on the 16 and Pregnant Series. Now they are all grown, and struggling with life as young mothers. Of course some handle the struggle better than others.

Here's my take on these little ladies...

Maci

Maci has to be my favorite mom. I can't help but think her success as a young mother and student has a lot to do with the support she had in comparison to the other mothers from family and friends. Unfortunately her son's father Ryan is a real piece of work. From the beginning he showed little to no interest in his son, and this season he is focused on gaining more visitation/custody. For what? I know people change, and know this IS his father but I can't help but feel his desire for custody is strictly for the cameras or pure spite for the woman who has made that little boy as happy as he is.

My Prediction?
She'll end back up with Ryan for awhile, possibly get married, and eventually divorce.

My Advice?
Work with Ryan for your son. He'll never say you didn't try. Focus on your schooling, and not these boys who aren't ready for what you have to offer. Oh, and consider a baby sitter from time to time - you're friends will be less likely to invite you out of the house if you always bring the kid. You're a good mom, getting out from time to time isn't awful and you need it for your own personal sanity.

Amber

Where do I even begin with the train wreck that is Amber and her baby daddy/on again off again fiance Gary? Not only has Amber shown her inability to control her emotions but she has taken it to a whole new other level with her ability to get physical. First with Gary, then who next? Her daughter when she doesn't clean her room? I'm in no way saying Gary is model father or boyfriend, he has his faults as well. I wanted to climb through the television and knock him out myself when he totally left Amber high and dry on her birthday with NO sitter. Who says you can't go out unless you invite me? What a loser. If they didn't have that poor child I would say they are perfect for each other, but for her sake it's best they keep as far away from each other as possible.

My Prediction?
She'll either continue to pursue a relationship with this new guy she's dating (loser) or find another gem (loser) to be with. She'll probably end up supporting him, get pregnant, and go psycho on him causing him to leave. This cycle may repeat one more time until she sticks to her cigs and boxed wine.

My Advice?
Get serious therapy. Grow the freak up and be the good, consistent mother you need to be. Stop tanning so stinkin' much, get your G.E.D. and calm the FREAK down when Gary's trying to talk to you reasonably (even if he's an idiot). Lastly, for the love of all things good, STOP ARGUING IN FRONT OF THAT BABY!

Farrah

I'm actually a fan of Farrah this season. Last season? Not so much. I think the best thing that happened to Farrah is when momma slapped her around a bit. I am not, I repeat, am NOT an advocate for physical abuse, but I'm old school. A momma, is a momma and as long as you are old enough to live in momma's house, you are old enough to get your butt whooped. (Don't hate me). Her mom definitely has control issues, but let me tell you why I feel this way. Farrah didn't experience true maturity and independence until she hit that point with her mother. It's not until she was forced to pay rent, get a job and balance that with school and having a daughter that she really grew up. I respect her now and believe she is at the point to find a good man that will love her and her daughter.

My Prediction?
She'll finish school if she doesn't fall in love and get married first. She'll wait on the next baby, and as little as a couple years from now, she and her mother will be close, sharing stories on love and motherhood.

My Advice?
Don't go looking for him, live your life, and your paths will cross. Understand that you only get one mother, and when you are upset with yours, consider having the next girl's mother...

Catelynn

I've saved the best for last. Is she perfect? No. Totally mature? Not all the time. Kick ass human being? Yes. Catelynn and Ryan put themselves aside to give their daughter the best future possible. They understood the environment they lived in wasn't good enough for their precious baby. They have had to grow up too soon with the parents they were given alone (their parents are dating each other, weirdness, alcoholics/drug abuser), so to top that off with bringing a new life into the world? They have handled themselves maturely, and responsibly. They had me in tears this evening, not only to see their sincere, strong love for the daughter they haven't raised, but to see how open the adoptive parents are to these two young people still having a shot of being in their daughter's life.

I'm sure they would love to have this little girl all to themselves, but they show their true hearts and gratitude by not hiding this adoption, but freely allowing all parties involved, to stay in contact. This baby is so fortunate to have two sets of parents that are so loving and selfless.

My Prediction?
These two will stay together. They will continue with their education to a certain extent, get married, and have children.

My Advice?
You were made for each other and placed in this situation for a reason. Get your education, and use your fame and experience to become advocates for adoption. There are so many teens that will never consider the option until they see and hear your story.

I'm Coming Out!

It's National Coming Out Day and I'm coming out!

(more photos from Dallas Pride '07 here.)

No, I'm not classified under any LGBT categories, in other words, I'm straight with no interest in other women and not feeling like I was born the wrong gender.

So let me explain.

I grew up in a conservative, West Texas, Christian environment. I was pretty sheltered until college but even then I stayed in the same town and went to a private Christian university. I didn't really leave that bubble until I wed and moved to the Dallas-Ft Worth area. I've always had friends that were gay, lesbian, or bisexual and almost seemed drawn to them and vice versa.

So what's my confession?

My confession is despite my upbringing, I embrace the LGBT culture. In fact, I almost avoid discussing or thinking about the traditional Christian views on the matter. When it comes down to it, in regards to it being a sin, a part of me feels like it is at times, but mostly, I just don't think about it because it's not my position at all in life to judge whether what another person is doing is sinful or not.

Some Christians would say I'm in a grayish, lukewarm area and compromising.

Others would say I'm ignorant for being a Christian.

I say I don't care what they say.

__________________

This is how I feel:

__________________

Love is love and EVERYONE is deserving of love.

Everyone should have the right to love WHO they want to.

If it is a sin, what does the Bible tell us?

To judge?

No. We are to love as Christ did. Also, lying IS a sin, judging IS a sin, coveting IS a sin and the Bible also tells us there is no LEVEL of sin so hypothetically a gay individual living a "sinful" life isn't more of a sinner than a person who lies on their taxes or gets jealous of the neighbor's new car.

Lastly, the government didn't tell me I couldn't marry my husband because he was a Catholic and I was a Protestant, they don't tell a white woman she can't marry an African-American so why should we not allow the gay community to marry whom they please? Because it will "ruin" the sanctity of marriage and the American family? I'm sorry but that happened when women started having 5 kids with 4 different men, when "dad" only existed in less than half of American homes, and when grandparents had no choice but to become the parents.

Sigh...

My best friend in the whole wide world is a lesbian. She has been there for me since 6th grade and I would take it as a personal offense if someone mistreated her or hurt her because of her sexual orientation. I believe there is a God, and I believe He loves every ounce of her being. I believe his heart hurts when he sees His children mistreated. I also believe as a nation we have made some pretty stupid decisions when it comes to how we treat people that are different than the "norm" and it takes people like her, and myself, and quite possibly YOU to say "I'm going to support this person for who they are."

I think it would mean the world to a person who just doesn't feel loved, or accepted by those who just don't understand. If you feel this way, great. If you don't, explore why you don't. Look outside of yourself. Imagine yourself in the shoes of a person who may have lost their job, their friends, or even their family because of who they love. Put yourself in the shoes of a 14 year old child that pretends to be sick so he doesn't have to face the taunts and teasing of other children at school.

I am a Christian and I love my straight AND gay friends/family/students alike. It IS possible to do both. In fact Christ calls us to love one another - so without regards to how you, another human feels about it, I will do as my God says, and simply, love.

*This post is dedicated to my best friend Pie who has seen my flaws, but never judged me, laughed with me and has been the closest person I've ever known on this planet to show unconditional love. This little entry isn't much, and like three people read this blog, but you know I'd give hell to anyone that ever mistreated you for who you are, even if you have horrible taste in women :)

Thinkers Google Aziz Ansari

Today my husband dropped by my advanced class to bring me lunch so I wouldn't have to eat spaghetti for the fifth time this week (lately I'm against wasting leftovers). He wasn't in there long but after he left, my students shared their thoughts. This is what I heard...

"He's tall!"

"Is he Asian?"

"He doesn't look Asian!"

"Was he mad?"

"He's quiet, is he a thinker?"

The last one got me thinking. I responded that yes he is quiet and he is more of a thinker, and I'm the talker, but in hindsight I realize I'm both.

I'm always thinking, daydreaming, mentally reenacting things that have happened, imagining what if this or that happened and creating details down to the attire and dialogue that would be present if these situations came to pass. After that, I recreate it in my mind with different dialogue and different outcomes. I've always have, not sure why.

One of these "thinker" qualities I possess is my obsession with Google and searching random information on the internet.

I don't know how I ever functioned before Google.

I google at least a few dozen times a week.

Tonight I watched Aziz Ansari on Comedy Central tonight and he had a bit that actually prompted me to write this. He talked about all if the random stuff he looks up on his phone and the possibility of someone one day looking at his search history after he's dead.

I can honestly say that's crossed my mind, so, weird or not, I've decided to share my most recent Google searches for your nosey pleasure!

1) Chupa Chups

2) flower beds and wood chips

3) sugar skull recipes

4) '96 Buick power steering

5) World At War map list

6) theme song of Bored To Death

7) Kandinsky birds

8) custom pinatas

9) Lego man

10) who sings song Any Day Now

11) lgbt issues in public school

12) red mole

13) Nevi No More

14) I'll pay your rent lyrics

15) Dollar Tree hours

Those are just a few of dozens.

So what do you Google? Hmm. I bet at least ONE of you Google something from my list.

Anyhow.

I've included a clip of the Aziz Ansari if you're not familiar with him, but if you haven't you've been living under a rock. He is currently on Parks and Recreation and you may have seen him on Funny People, Observe and Report, I Love You Man, and one of my favorites, Get Him To The Greek. He was also the host of the MTV Movie Awards which made him my all time favorite host of that show and probably every other awards show I've seen. I just enjoy his humor. I hope you do too.

Aziz Ansari - Willow Related Death
comedians.comedycentral.com
Aziz Ansari Stand-Up Aziz Ansari Jokes Buy tickets to the New York Comedy Festival

You can also check out his tumblr here!
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Whoa.

I actually shared a link to this page to a small group of completely random people selected from my infamous Facebook friends list.

I'm not quite sure why. I've kept this thing private for so long but tonight I felt like I needed to see what it felt like sharing it.

It feels a bit weird.

Maybe I felt like I had more to hide before? And now I don't? I'm screwed when I get myself in some trouble again eh?

My Musical Memory Lane

Okay so last post I mentioned certain songs reminding me of individual people, groups, and times in my life and decided to run with it via blog. Here are just a few videos of songs that take me back. You'll find they are all quite different from each other and I only included a few of probably hundreds...

(In no particular order)

Dad






Christina/Jen (college roomates)





The Husband





Caroline (college partner in crime)





Andy/Josh/Brandon/Nathan (my college boys)





High School





Middle School





Ryan (friend from from college)





Mom

Frenemies.

As if I didn't have enough exes reappearing via Facebook - now I have old "friends."

There's one in particular that bothers me. We were great friends, best even, for several years before we had a falling out. She befriended girls in college that didn't like me. They even had the nerve to write catty things on my dry erase board on my dorm door. Yeah, it was high school all over again. She felt like I blamed her, I didn't, but I didn't blame her for not sticking up for me. She saw the bullying I had to deal with in high school, so why would she sit and watch it happen all over again in college? I was the bigger person, and apologized several times. In hindsight I have NO idea why I did except for the fact I was really trying to salvage a friendship.

Fast forward a year and a half - two years ago. I run across her on Facebook, send her a request and a message. In the message I tell her (AGAIN) I was sorry for whatever I did, but it was in the past and I would like to catch up.

No confirmation, no reply back.

Fine. Over it.

Until her stupid little face shows up on my news feed.

"_______" is now friends with "_______."

Um. Hello. Your friends with someone you didn't say TWO WORDS to in high school? That kid was MY friend, since when are you all of a sudden THEIR friend? You see, I wasn't the most popular girl in high school, but I had a lot of friends. I always had a place to sit in the cafeteria, and I involved myself in many circles. I'm a bit of a social butterfly. THIS girl on the other hand, not so much and with the exception of a couple of people, she rode my social coattails.

It's so petty, but yes, it annoyed me to even see that. Oh well, that chapter is closed, I just had to share...

Part II
______________________________________________________


On the flip side, there's another friendship.

I lost a close friend a couple of months ago, and although I've been totally okay about it, recently it's been sneaking up on me.

I really hate that feeling.

I don't know what to do.

A big part of me knows the friendship has turned toxic, so I know in the end, this IS best, but I can't help but miss the friendship (when it was good). The other part is too prideful to say "how have you been" or "happy birthday."

You know how certain songs will take you back to a certain time in your life, even a small memory? Well, some random playlist from forever ago showed up out of nowhere on my itunes this week. It was one that I deleted sometime ago and bam, all of a sudden - it's there, along with it's memories.

These people make me feel like this....

"And is that what you call tact?
You're as subtle as a brick in the small of my back.
So let's end this call, and end this conversation.
And is that what you call a getaway?
Well tell me what you got away with,
cause you left the frays from the ties you severed
when you say best friends means friends forever."

Ah. Jumping and screaming to this sounds like a good fix, but seriously...

WHAT DO I DO?

It's Alive!

My adopted plant is doing quite well in it's new digs. New blooms started popping up with a couple of days!




I think adding this plant has been good for my first plant (from my uncle Danny's funeral this summer) because he (it's a boy) has outgrown his pot!




So while I went to Home Depot to get his new red pot, I picked up another little plant.This could soon turn into a slight addiction but I seriously think it's helping me cope with some things that I'm still going through (plus I had a pretty new pot I bought last week that needed a resident!)




Sounds a bit silly I'm sure but I've developed a brand new pride in taking care of these plants and watching them grow. It's almost nurturing...

Whoa.

I think I just hit a nerve.

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TDC:DAY TEN

One confession.

1) I'm capable of so much love, but sometimes I hold back.

TDC:DAY NINE

Two smileys that describe your life right now

1) ;)

2) :#

TDC: DAY EIGHT

Three turn-ons

1) FRESH breath (minty preferred)

2) Cologne or manly body wash (Axe excluded!)

3) Strong forearms

Hands At Play

My students have been cooped up in all of their other classes working on 6th weeks exams so in art they're putting their projects away and simply playing.

So far so good.















Sometimes you just have to take it easy, and play.

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