AAAAGH!

I get myself into some messes sometimes.

Buffalo Gap

So I have a new camera, yay. I decided to start going to therapy, until then I made time for my own personal therapy...here is a little of what I saw.







I love Texas.

And I Thought That I'd Live Forever...

Ah. In about 29 minutes I'll officially be 29. Yep, at 7:05 a.m. I'll be one year close to 30.

Where did the time go?

It seems just like yesterday I was in college, living with 'Stina and Jennifer having way too much fun and getting in way too much trouble, I remember driving up to our cute little house in my roller skate of a car planning our next party or next night out. I remember my surprise 21st birthday...wow. But ironically had a bit more fun at 'Stinas...sorry about leaving you in the bathroom while we preceded to hit the bar without you! Fast forward a few years after that, graduation. I had some garbage I was working through that year - that totally made me look at love and life in a different way. I learned that love knew no boundaries sometimes, and that could be a very dangerous thing. Luckily for me, that garbage is several years behind me - but I'll always remember. The Strokes' first album always brings it back, but it's good now, it's all good.
Now I'm here. 29, teaching middle school art, trying to make a difference and keep my own life in order while trying to be an influence in theirs. Still married - no children - still trying to figure out what I'm supposed to be doing here. Sometimes I think I know, but it changes, theme of my life.

Which brings me to my soundtrack. Someone once asked me, if someone made a movie about me, what would the soundtrack sound like? Well thus far, this is what I've included, in no particular order:

Lisa Loeb, Stay

Cake, Mexico

The Cranberries, Linger

Dashboard Confessional, Vindicated

Death Cab, I Will Follow You

Ghost Town DJs, My Boo (haha)

The Donnas, My Bad Reputation

Jars of Clay, Love Song For a Savior

Kelly Clarkson, The Trouble With Love Is

Meg & Dia, Masterpiece

New Found Glory, My Friends Over You

Tegan & Sara, The Con, and My Number

Kelis, Bossy (haha)

Alanis Morisette, Hand In My Pocket

Brooks & Dunn, Neon Moon

Destiny's Child, Bad Habit

Fleetwood Mac or Dixie Chicks, Landslide

Everclear, So Much For The Afterglow

Mana, Mariposa Traicionera

Frou Frou, Hear Me Out

Monica, Just One Of Those Days

Nelly Furtado, Maneater & Glow

Kiss, Rock & Roll All Night

Janis Joplin, Piece of My Heart

Julieta Venegas, Eres Para Mi






Did I mention it would be a double disk??

Life was much simpler...when I blogged.

Believe it or not, it seems writing through the ish's that haunt my life actually help me process the thoughts and mild traumas that plague me through the weeks and months. It's not that I don't have the time, it's the fact that I don't make the time. Of course I always MAKE time when I'm going through something and that's okay, it's therapeutic for me and, yeah, this blog is for me.
I was on Facebook earlier and noticed a friend's status regarding her desire to be back in college again. She's not interesting in pursuing a masters by any means, but misses the college life. So I take myself back to college in my mind. What would I do different. I think a lot of people lie and say they wouldn't change a thing, that it "got me to where I am today." which I think is total rubbish. Who wouldn't want to change that night at that one party? Or not get mad at the friend over nothing? Or decide at the moment that guy was the owner of your heart and soul mate? The cool thing about college is that it was okay for you to change your mind, one could be fickle and it was borderline expected, especially out of me. But once in the "real world" ...grown up and "matured," questioning yourself, your life, your situation isn't acceptable because that automatically deems you flakey, irresponsible, immature. But can't a girl in her late 20's think "uh-oh, what did I do??" without feeling like a horrible person? Yes, I second guess myself a lot, and I wonder where I'll be and what I'll be doing in life in the next few years..but I can't let it get the best of me, even if the grass looks so much greener on the other side. My best bet? I have to take care of my hypothetical grass and make it just as green, if not greener than what I see around me. My "grass" is not horrible grass, I love my grass but my achilles heel is self-doubt, and good music...and this time both are entwined. So for now, I pray, I keep watering, nurturing and do what I can to keep this garden alive. As much as my thoughts haunt me - it's what I have to do.

High School Reunion

Needless to say I was already stressed and now this! Luckily the staff at this Toyota staff is incredible!

Staples

Waiting...

Hubby should be in surgery for his knee any minute now. The lady next to him is telling her doctor she only smokes around 11-12 cigs a day and wonders why she'll need a breathing tube during surgery. Uh, doi.

Freedom Fest Frisco & FC Dallas

The 4th was great this year. We went out north to Frisco to check out the festivities there. Afterwards we headed to the FC Dallas vs Kansas City Wizards game (tied 1-1) and watched the fireworks show on the Pizza Hut Park field. Arturo Alvarez wasn't there...but I managed to keep myself entertained.

Joey humped the turf he loved it so much. I guess you would only understand if you grew up playing soccer on bumpy, West Texas ground.

I randomly ran into an ex. A somewhat serious one at a brief, particular time. He didn't see me. That's good. I just love how I run into people. He lives hours away (I think) yet for a split second he made a reappearance in my life. It was reason for me to once again be grateful to have what I have. It's going to be three years this Wednesday. Unfortunately, he'll be in surgery getting his knee fixed. Oh well, he's just always destined to feel pain on July 9th, huh?

Bah! Downtown!

Is there a law stating every downtown has to be a confusing place to navigate?!?

I stop for bunnies!

This isn't a rare occurrence driving out to my mom's by the lake..but this bunny was determine to stay put. May he rest in peace.


Kidding.

Summer break is here!

And that means plenty of time to sit by the pool, and read! I zipped through How the Garcia Girls Lost Their Accents and much to my surprise, wasn't that into it. It was a good read, but forced myself to finish the last couple of chapters. Border-line Personalities on the other hand, almost got finished in a couple of hours...I had to put it down so I'd have something to look forward to tomorrow!
Wow, this semi-summer-sabbatical is great...so much time...what else should I do??

At the Mall 4

Let it out girl, let it all out. Darn tomatoes.

At the Mall 3

Eh...I heart me some Forever 21...but wonder what's up with the mannequin poses? This was one of many promiscuous sets. Did I care? Nah...they've been dressing me for years already and I loves their style and music so carry on mannis, carry on.

At the Mall 2

Bah! Everytime I sport a Cowboys jersey, that player ends his career with Dallas! Imagine how bummed I was to see this jersey at the Cowboy Pro Shop for $19.99. Enjoy Seattle Julius!

At the Mall 1

I've always referred to my hubby as Mr Big, what with our earlier, rocky years and all, which made it all the more disappointing when he said it would be weird for me to wear it with him. I thought it was cute! Steve & Barry, less then $9!

Oh what fun!

Since summer is here my schedule has opened tremendously! Yay for being a teacher! I had the pleasure of watching my niece for the day and because her long awaited play date with her bff was canceled at the last minute, I had to get creative! So after a quick lunch, we made our way down to one of the local museums in my hometown. I was able to see a couple of great exhibits in addition to the newly renovated children's portion of the museum where it's all about fun AND education. Loves it.

The first exhibit I saw was that of Native American artist, Jaune Quick-To-See Smith. I loved her layers, collaging and drippings. It gave me a lot to look at and study. My favorite piece was an oversized painting of the United States with the labeling of the many tribes that once existed. It was amazing to see what we so foolishly lost. I love obscure little surprises in art work, so finding quirky but meaningful portions like the one below made me want to return to better pay attention. I had a certain seven year old with me that wouldn't allow it!



Click here to learn more about Jaune and to see more of her work! Pay special attention to the lithographs, they're great.

The next exhibit I saw was one full of emotion. Photographer Dan Burkholder visited New Orleans after the Katrina tragedy to create "The Color of Loss" series. At first the photographs are easily mistaken for an etching or a highly detailed painting. Burkholder uses a technique where the details, shadows and lights are super intensified. This High Dynamic Range technique is almost like the Blue Ray or HD version for photography, It truly captured the intensity of the Hurricane Katrina on the homes.




Click here for more of his work on this series.

After being pulled away from the grown up exhibits it was time for fun with the midget. Do I have a condensed version of the story?? Of course. Glad you asked.
There were displays about the human body, how tornados are formed, and an incredible sound wall that was made of multiple pieces of wood that each made a unique sound when rubbed. There. There's the scoop.







Afterwards I took her to a place to paint some pottery. It wasn't what I expected so much, but inspired me to invest in some art classes for my niece, The shop owner took my niece in as her own little apprentice and taught her how to dry brush a piece as well as highlight and darken.




At the end of the day, all my niece could talk about was the museum and painting pots! I was thrilled to have given her an experience that will keep her interested in things other than video games and television. I was quite impressed, with her interest and the things this little West Texas town had to offer.

Stinky Bears and Traffic Cops

So my dog Romo has this bear originally named "Farting Bear." We were given this remote controlled, flatulating bear as a gag gift for Christmas. Well, when Romo met him, it was love at first hump. Needless to say months of playing, chewing, and, er, loving, this thing as developed quite the stench. We've thrown him in the wash..but it didn't matter, give Romo 5 minutes of chew time and the slobbery residue began to stink so bad that we avoided his puppy kisses because they smelled worse then rotting beans! I knew it was time for more drastic measures, so I washed "Farting Bear" turned "Stinky Bear." It seems I got the evil spirit of stink outta him and we're all happy. Romo has his friend back, and hubby and I can begin to enjoy his puppy kisses once again.


Now, on a different and brief subject; why do traffic cops always seem pissed off? I mean, I know this isn't the highlight of their job (monitoring traffic, go, stop, go, stop in the middle of an intersection...) but why do I always feel so pressured?!? It's like the fate of the world lies in you making that turn as fast as possible while the cop frantically waves his hand back and forth giving you the signal to go like he's been waiting on you all day. Ironically, if there's a cop there, most people like myself, make an extra effort to be careful, and not speed...meanwhile we've got a director in the midst of the intersection telling us to hurry the heck up. Am I the only one that's noticed this?

Beautiful Mother Nature

I love storm clouds.


Especially when I view them on the road HOME.



Unless I think I'm going to get caught in the storm.

Pat Green

Since I was already in Abilene this weekend to visit my grandmother (update soon) I made a big effort to catch a show I've been wanting to see for awhile. I became interested in Pat Green and Texas country in general while in college. I've see him play a few times since, and have been hurting for live music lately, and his music, in particular. The show wasn't the ideal setting...outdoors, lots of non-fans just talking and getting drunk, sweating etc., but c'mon, we're talking about West Texas here and anything that's "bring your own cooler" is very much respected.



Of course, there was quite a mess afterwards.


We had a good time and I was stoked to be able to hear a lot of his older stuff like, "Poetry," "Wave on Wave," and my personal favorite "Three Days." It took me back really, and I enjoyed being able to sit back, listen to some good music, and just be in Texas.

Yay! Yay! Yay!

I found my camera.

It was in Romo's bag.

I was so excited I had to take a pic right away...even if my hair was wrapped up in a towel!

Smile!

I was messing with my computer and took this by accident...right before deleting it I realized this was the perfect picture to show how I feel in class 80% of the time. The kids give me heck from time to time, but overall, it's the most fun I've had in a long time. I'll miss them dearly over the summer...

Oh Drama.

This will be short but sweet. Today I stayed longer than I planned at work today...it was okay since I was needed where I was at. I had a feeling something bad was going to happen to one of my kiddos today...everyone was talking about him getting jumped by a grip of older boys..something about him supposedly breaking into some other kids house. I don't know, but what I do know is I ended up pulling him out of what would have been a very bad situation. I thought he had left campus already, but knew he hadn't when I saw a storm of kids running. I'm glad I got there when I did..I was the only adult out there, and things were going to get ugly. Somehow I convinced him to go back inside with me. His brother didn't follow. I'm not sure what ended up happening to the brother, but I know when I went back to get him, there was a swarm of kids down the block running after him. I know my kid was snow white in the situation, but it scared me to hear what these boys wanted to do to him. I know he is probably fine tonight, but they'll get to him soon enough.
We have another kid on house arrest with an ankle bracelet on..sometimes I wonder if life would be easier in different school, where every kid has a parent in the PTA, and the biggest problem is deciding what college to go to. But then I think of kids like the one I helped today, or the one who had to testify against her dad in court, or the one who has been to two psychiatric wards in this one year alone, and realize, if not me, at this time, in this school, then who? There has to be someone. I just wish it didn't make my head hurt so bad. My heart too.

End to a chapter, coming soon

Blah! I can't believe the end to my first year of teaching is OVER! Don't think this is one of those "finally, thank God moments!" - it's really not. It's bitter sweet actually. I've throughly enjoyed my year at my school, with all 150+ of my little budding, aaaand not so budding artists. It will be sad to say goodbye to my first group of kids. It doesn't help that I'm so soft, I've gotten teary eyed so many times realizing how they literally grown older, and somewhat more mature just in this year alone. It makes me wonder what will come of them, and what path they will choose in life; especially lately. We've had a lot negative things that have been coming up more and more over the past couple of months. We've been dealing with drug and alcohol issues on campus, creepy intruders on campus, parent's getting shot, gang activity, semi riots down the street, weapons on campus...not to mention all of the fights. It's safe to say that it probably isn't the school you may want your kiddo to go to if you're super protective or paranoid. I often wondered if this is where I would want our future children to go as thoughts of us making a move into my district develop. I'll be honest with you, It's a long way down the road (in life...not a literal road) but I don't know that I would be too opposed to it. We have wonderful students, and exposure to how ugly life can be beneficial if you have the right parent(s) to set good examples and help you stay on track. I desire the mentality of a lady I met some years back. She was the mother of someone I had befriended closely a few months before her death. Before her premature passing, Tiffany was the oldest of 12 (I believe). Three of which were in college, the youngest I think at the time was 2 or 3. At one of the memorial services they mentioned that sister Hamilton had been asked, why so many kids? Her response was that she wanted to bring in as many good-hearted, God fearing, Christian people into this world. They joked and said she had done her part (they really were ALL extraordinary children) but it's gotten me to think, maybe life in these schools isn't all bad. I get tired of my small budget, printers that don't work, and constant fund raising just for paper...but maybe if you set yourself as the positive example, it will really change how some of these students view life, and their future. And that makes it worth it to me. Besides, most of these kids are just looking for acceptance. Unfortunately after so many years of searching, they settle for blue, red or green. I don't want that life for my future children, or 150+ I consider "my kiddos" now. There are problems everywhere, and not by any means can the greatest works be achieved just in the 'hood, but our work is definitely cut out for us there. It's even gotten others thinking..maybe I should go there. We'll see how that all works out.

Well, back to cleaning. I plan on taking Romo to the new dog park in GP, while JOey's at the Byron Nelson (BOOOOORING!) Pics to come if we ever make it out!
Peace!

I Do...and I Don't

As many may know or assume, I am a woman of very many...annoyances. Over the past few months I've noticed a growing trend of disrespect in more than a few family units. It seems nowadays there is an increasing number of of newly-wedded couples confused about what happens when you say "I do." This is what you should do and don't when you say these vows...

You DO respect and embrace each other's character differences. It's proven that the couples that are exactly the same suffer through more marital problems and divorce then couples who are opposite from each other. You DON'T pick and choose what you may, when you marry them, you marry them for them.

You DO regard each family with equal importance. There are exceptions if his/her family are raging alcoholics, abusers, or in unhealthy environments (this does NOT include a messy house!) Even then your attitude and behavior towards them should always be one of respect. You DON'T spend 90% of your collective time with one family and 10% of the other. Your message to your in-laws is that they are not significant to you and your message to your spouse is who you are and where you came from is not important to me. Eventually this results in continuous conflict and resentment aimed towards you by the disrespected family, spouse, and even your children. Believe me, stiffed in-laws will usually inform the child when they are older why they were not able to be a constant part of their life.

You DO make him/her your number two, God being number one. This does NOT mean you ignore their faults. There's nothing more unattractive then a man/woman without a backbone to speak up and correct a situation with their partner, At the same token, as a Christian, the male is the head of the household...but it's up to the man to maintain and live up to that leadership role. You DO NOT become a pushover.

You DO respect his/her heritage/religion. This is who you said I DO to. Your culture may not align perfectly with his/hers, and you may not understand it - but it is what made your partner who he/she is today.

You DO say I DO to his/her friends as well. When it comes to friends, you better have a validated argument to speak out against them. A man/woman's friend's have a lot more say in the ideas and thoughts that fill your spouses head then you may think. This could be good or bad for you. You DON'T make your time with your friends more important. You DO have a few friends you can call your own. You DON'T force the two groups if they don't blend.

You DO grow and expand your family with children at the right time. You DON'T go into it without careful consideration. You DON'T bring a child into an unhealthy marriage. If the relationship is truly broken, denial through a child will not mend it. If it seems to, be careful it's his/her's love for you - not obligation to the child.

You DO respect each other's need/desire to have time alone, or with his/her friends, sans you. If there is trust established, that time away can be beneficial to clear ones head, relax, and if you're not a beast to come home to - they'll have something to look forward to when they walk back through that door. You DON'T rely on them continuously for entertainment. It's nice to feel wanted, but living with someone without anything going on socially can be draining,

You DO acknowledge his\her successes in their careers - even if you don't agree with their choices completely. Women, especially towards men...downplaying your mates occupation can cause a major blow to the self-esteem. You DO NOT push them into something - of course he/she refuses to be employed..well, you shouldn't have married a lazy person!

You DO work your tail off to makes things work. Investing your time into fixing the ills of your marriage is priceless compared to divorce. People and situations may change, but nothing is or was ever guaranteed at that altar - besides your promise to stick it out. You DO NOT let outsiders influence decisions in your marriage.

Now I've left many out I'm sure...tell me what you do...and don't.

My head...my stomach.

There is a reason I left my old college days behind me.

EEEEEASTER!

It was a blast. We spent four days back home and spent some much needed time with family. Long story short:

1) We had a big wedding shower in the family this weekend which meant more cousins coming in from out of town, yay! The shower was beautiful and I had a fun time catching up with everyone.


2) Little Romo did so well with the family dogs. In fact, I felt bad taking him away from it all on Sunday. Weeelll not really, I was ready to have him to myself!


3) I walked down to the lake area of my parent's property. It was brief but it brought back many memories of my dad and I spending countless hours fishing. Sometimes we'd go two hours without saying a word...just sitting and watching the water. When I saw him this weekend I was taken aback. He looked much older then I ever remember, and it begins to dawn on me how quickly life passes us by.




4) I finally bought a new camera...it's kind of a cheapie, but plan on buying my XTI in the early Summer.

I didn't get home until a few minutes shy of 8 this evening and I'm exhausted. It was a productive day though, getting ready for a long one tomorrow (observation AND open house!) But I made a vow to myself that this thing is going to get up and running again. I really miss/need blogging.

I know, I know

Bad Blogger! Bad!
What's ironic is I can't even blame my absence on a busy schedule, or no camera. I'm still busy, and still without a camera, but I blame this on Call of Duty 4. I've been playing a lot. A lot. Mainly online, actually, only online. Isn't that sad? What's even more exciting (nerdier) is that I'm using a headset now. Enter geekdom. Pssh. It's fun and actually a stress reliever (except for last night when I was sucking it up more than usual!) I'm actually surprised by how many people are rude on there. It's pretty obscene at times. It can fun to talk back buuuut I usually keep quiet unless there's a normal person on.
In other news it's officially Spring Break! That's right, my career change has made happy to have this much needed break. What shall a girl do you might ask? Here we go:

1) Get an oil change and detail

2) Get Romo his second round a shots

3) Get Romo registered in doggy daycare (once a week, so he can learn to socialize!)

4) Clean (check!)

5) Register in this county so I can vote!

6) Figure out which kids I'm selecting for this next, big competition

7) Plan on a detailed outline for the art club I'm starting soon

8) Buy 2 birthday presents (dad and niece) 2 bridal shower presents (cousins getting married, not to each other!) and Easter baskets filled with everything their parents won't get them for nieces and nephews (that's 9 incase you were wondering...)

9) Buy an Easter dress

10) Get a mani and possible pedi

11) Get Romo's laundry done

12) Grocery shopping

13) Buy a camera ( a cheapie for now)

14) Design a t-shirt for work

15) Design a graduation invitation

16) Get off the damn computer so I can get this all done!

Yikes. I didn't realize how busy I am.

My Puppy is Cuter Than Your Puppy

So we were fighting for our pups to get more of the spotlight....