Uh, yuck!

There's nothing like picking up useless print materials when waiting to get seated somewhere for lunch. We were at Cantina Laredo in Addison with the fam (who was visiting this weekend) when I picked up a Dallas Observer. Now, this isn't exactly the pinnacle of great reading but they have a lot of live music info and reviews to offer. There was also a double truck spread about Tony Romo...anyway...I always feel dirty reading the Observer. I'm a small, West Texas town kind of gal from a strict Protestant background...I was feeling all kind of dirty this weekend. It didn't help that the night before we were at a friends watching a dvd of "Jose Luis" uncensored...

BROWN TOWN MOMENT:
"Jose Luis" is the Spanish speaking version of Jerry Springer. Less talk, more fights, in fact, the audience is welcome to participate. The fights can get pretty intense. The women are the worst. They have fistfuls of each others hair and have mouths that would make sailors blush. But that's not what makes it so shocking. That would be the ripping of clothes and breast a'flyin all over the place. But no worries...unless you like to see "nalgas" running rampant, they aren't real lookers.

Back to the subject...

I always know when I read an Observer I can always find the seedy section in the back offering all kinds of "magical rubs," and "exploratory" offers. I like to read them out loud in the voices I think these professional skanks would sound like, I find it to be pretty amusing actually. These ads include their "in" and "out" prices, whether they perform with toys or not, and the exact measurements and amenities of their dungeons, yes, dungeons. They offer to fulfill your wildest fantasies, or maybe just a "lunchtime snack" if that is more your style. Sometimes "couples are welcome" and if you like sister on sister action, well, there's a couple waiting for your call.

Okay. I know. For most of my readers this is ridiculously gross and funny. I can't imagine how they file their taxes personally, or even sleep at night! (No pun intended)I can handle seeing the raunchy picture ("actual photo!!") I can even make light of it by impersonating them while reading their ads..but I can't go for this...


A CLASSIFIED PROFESSIONAL SKANK NAMED LENA!!!!!!!!!

Ugh. So for the record, that's SO not me, Not that there would be any confusion..but..still. It was weird to see my name in bold, black print on this page. I'm way cuter (see "Big Head") and pfft. Please. My momma didn't raise no fool/skank.