1.09.2009

Because after awhile, the glow wears off...



That's how I feel about the holidays and many a subject in my life. From experience I've learned everything is great and exciting at first...then give it some months, years, bumps, and detours and eventually what made you radiant makes you...back to square one. Not so much changed, altered, or improved because when it comes down to it, you are who you are. We let our situations and current environments lead us to believe that it is who we are. Ex: I am this happy person during Christmas, I am this smitten lover with him or her, I am a person who loves my job (when I'm doing it well) or I'm more evolved around this group or that. It's all situational. Change the situation and who are you? Are you the type to question everything in existence because of one situation? I am. I let one death, or two, completely alter my life in a way that isn't beneficial. I let the influence of one person make me think maybe my life isn't as pleasing to me as I originally thought. One broken cellphone call totally screw up my day. I'm tired of getting myself into unhealthy situations that change who I am. I'm tired of the glow...because when it wears off, it's just going to be me under there.




Christmas and New Years glimmered with hope, and all of the false promise of change and new beginnings is starting to wear. My year hasn't had the best start, but after a couple of weeks, I've decided on a resolution...I've decided to not let my situation form who I am...even when the glow wears off.

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