As many may know or assume, I am a woman of very many...annoyances. Over the past few months I've noticed a growing trend of disrespect in more than a few family units. It seems nowadays there is an increasing number of of newly-wedded couples confused about what happens when you say "I do." This is what you should do and don't when you say these vows...
You DO respect and embrace each other's character differences. It's proven that the couples that are exactly the same suffer through more marital problems and divorce then couples who are opposite from each other. You DON'T pick and choose what you may, when you marry them, you marry them for them.
You DO regard each family with equal importance. There are exceptions if his/her family are raging alcoholics, abusers, or in unhealthy environments (this does NOT include a messy house!) Even then your attitude and behavior towards them should always be one of respect. You DON'T spend 90% of your collective time with one family and 10% of the other. Your message to your in-laws is that they are not significant to you and your message to your spouse is who you are and where you came from is not important to me. Eventually this results in continuous conflict and resentment aimed towards you by the disrespected family, spouse, and even your children. Believe me, stiffed in-laws will usually inform the child when they are older why they were not able to be a constant part of their life.
You DO make him/her your number two, God being number one. This does NOT mean you ignore their faults. There's nothing more unattractive then a man/woman without a backbone to speak up and correct a situation with their partner, At the same token, as a Christian, the male is the head of the household...but it's up to the man to maintain and live up to that leadership role. You DO NOT become a pushover.
You DO respect his/her heritage/religion. This is who you said I DO to. Your culture may not align perfectly with his/hers, and you may not understand it - but it is what made your partner who he/she is today.
You DO say I DO to his/her friends as well. When it comes to friends, you better have a validated argument to speak out against them. A man/woman's friend's have a lot more say in the ideas and thoughts that fill your spouses head then you may think. This could be good or bad for you. You DON'T make your time with your friends more important. You DO have a few friends you can call your own. You DON'T force the two groups if they don't blend.
You DO grow and expand your family with children at the right time. You DON'T go into it without careful consideration. You DON'T bring a child into an unhealthy marriage. If the relationship is truly broken, denial through a child will not mend it. If it seems to, be careful it's his/her's love for you - not obligation to the child.
You DO respect each other's need/desire to have time alone, or with his/her friends, sans you. If there is trust established, that time away can be beneficial to clear ones head, relax, and if you're not a beast to come home to - they'll have something to look forward to when they walk back through that door. You DON'T rely on them continuously for entertainment. It's nice to feel wanted, but living with someone without anything going on socially can be draining,
You DO acknowledge his\her successes in their careers - even if you don't agree with their choices completely. Women, especially towards men...downplaying your mates occupation can cause a major blow to the self-esteem. You DO NOT push them into something - of course he/she refuses to be employed..well, you shouldn't have married a lazy person!
You DO work your tail off to makes things work. Investing your time into fixing the ills of your marriage is priceless compared to divorce. People and situations may change, but nothing is or was ever guaranteed at that altar - besides your promise to stick it out. You DO NOT let outsiders influence decisions in your marriage.
Now I've left many out I'm sure...tell me what you do...and don't.
3.31.2008
3.30.2008
3.24.2008
EEEEEASTER!
It was a blast. We spent four days back home and spent some much needed time with family. Long story short:
1) We had a big wedding shower in the family this weekend which meant more cousins coming in from out of town, yay! The shower was beautiful and I had a fun time catching up with everyone.
2) Little Romo did so well with the family dogs. In fact, I felt bad taking him away from it all on Sunday. Weeelll not really, I was ready to have him to myself!
3) I walked down to the lake area of my parent's property. It was brief but it brought back many memories of my dad and I spending countless hours fishing. Sometimes we'd go two hours without saying a word...just sitting and watching the water. When I saw him this weekend I was taken aback. He looked much older then I ever remember, and it begins to dawn on me how quickly life passes us by.
4) I finally bought a new camera...it's kind of a cheapie, but plan on buying my XTI in the early Summer.
I didn't get home until a few minutes shy of 8 this evening and I'm exhausted. It was a productive day though, getting ready for a long one tomorrow (observation AND open house!) But I made a vow to myself that this thing is going to get up and running again. I really miss/need blogging.
3.17.2008
I know, I know
Bad Blogger! Bad!
What's ironic is I can't even blame my absence on a busy schedule, or no camera. I'm still busy, and still without a camera, but I blame this on Call of Duty 4. I've been playing a lot. A lot. Mainly online, actually, only online. Isn't that sad? What's even more exciting (nerdier) is that I'm using a headset now. Enter geekdom. Pssh. It's fun and actually a stress reliever (except for last night when I was sucking it up more than usual!) I'm actually surprised by how many people are rude on there. It's pretty obscene at times. It can fun to talk back buuuut I usually keep quiet unless there's a normal person on.
In other news it's officially Spring Break! That's right, my career change has made happy to have this much needed break. What shall a girl do you might ask? Here we go:
1) Get an oil change and detail
2) Get Romo his second round a shots
3) Get Romo registered in doggy daycare (once a week, so he can learn to socialize!)
4) Clean (check!)
5) Register in this county so I can vote!
6) Figure out which kids I'm selecting for this next, big competition
7) Plan on a detailed outline for the art club I'm starting soon
8) Buy 2 birthday presents (dad and niece) 2 bridal shower presents (cousins getting married, not to each other!) and Easter baskets filled with everything their parents won't get them for nieces and nephews (that's 9 incase you were wondering...)
9) Buy an Easter dress
10) Get a mani and possible pedi
11) Get Romo's laundry done
12) Grocery shopping
13) Buy a camera ( a cheapie for now)
14) Design a t-shirt for work
15) Design a graduation invitation
16) Get off the damn computer so I can get this all done!
Yikes. I didn't realize how busy I am.
What's ironic is I can't even blame my absence on a busy schedule, or no camera. I'm still busy, and still without a camera, but I blame this on Call of Duty 4. I've been playing a lot. A lot. Mainly online, actually, only online. Isn't that sad? What's even more exciting (nerdier) is that I'm using a headset now. Enter geekdom. Pssh. It's fun and actually a stress reliever (except for last night when I was sucking it up more than usual!) I'm actually surprised by how many people are rude on there. It's pretty obscene at times. It can fun to talk back buuuut I usually keep quiet unless there's a normal person on.
In other news it's officially Spring Break! That's right, my career change has made happy to have this much needed break. What shall a girl do you might ask? Here we go:
1) Get an oil change and detail
2) Get Romo his second round a shots
3) Get Romo registered in doggy daycare (once a week, so he can learn to socialize!)
4) Clean (check!)
5) Register in this county so I can vote!
6) Figure out which kids I'm selecting for this next, big competition
7) Plan on a detailed outline for the art club I'm starting soon
8) Buy 2 birthday presents (dad and niece) 2 bridal shower presents (cousins getting married, not to each other!) and Easter baskets filled with everything their parents won't get them for nieces and nephews (that's 9 incase you were wondering...)
9) Buy an Easter dress
10) Get a mani and possible pedi
11) Get Romo's laundry done
12) Grocery shopping
13) Buy a camera ( a cheapie for now)
14) Design a t-shirt for work
15) Design a graduation invitation
16) Get off the damn computer so I can get this all done!
Yikes. I didn't realize how busy I am.
3.04.2008
Wow!
I'm slacking in this thing bad! To make things worse, the curse of the broken camera has touched about the home of Picosita. There are a few options out there for me to get the situation taken care of, but it's all up in the air.
Here's a list.
1) Today is "Super Tuesday" and because my stupid self is STILL registered in a city 5 hours away, I can't vote in the democratic or GOP primary. This isn't the worst thing that could happen actually. You see, I haven't throughly educated myself on all things political when it comes to the candidates, and what I know, I don't like. This way my "things to study list" narrows down from four candidates (plus Ron Paul) to two. Don't get me wrong, ideally there seems to be a couple of strong candidates, but it's hard to believe anything they say.
2) Tomorrow I'm helping administer a mock TAKS test to the 6th graders while the 7th and 8th take the real thing. As an educator I'm really up in arms about the TAKS test. For those of you non-Texans, the TAKS test is an assessment that determines whether you have the knowledge you need in the core subjects to move onto the next grade. In other words, you can work your tail off in school, have your daily grades and major projects cover any lower test scores - but if you take the TAKS and fail, you don't pass. There are opportunities to re-take, but test anxiety seems to be a growing issue in our schools. What licks my hide is I'll be in my room with the same kids ALL day which will begin to grow on my nerves seeing how they're not even art students. I'll survive, if anything, it'll be an easy day, right?
3) I've just discovered my baked chicken with stuffing is raw. What's up with that? I make it a ton of times, followed procedure, and I have raw chicken for dinner.
4) I've become quite the fan of online Guitar Hero. I'm not too bad, and have been playing for a couple of months. Recently we decided to hook the PS3 up online and have been battling pimple-faced, prebubesent teens to the Kaiser Chief's "Ruby," and Pearl Jam's "Even Flow." I've even dabbled in Call of Duty Four - Modern Warfare, and just achieved my first air strike.
5) I stayed after school an extra hour and a half helping a tear-filled student find her purse containing her ipod. Not exactly how I wanted to spend the first part of my evening, but her mom said she couldn't go home until she found it. We never found it, but mom opened the door.
6) I've had an altercation with who I consider(ed?) a close friend. The jury is still out but I'm getting too old for this type of stuff. It's hard to let things go, and even harder to always second guess your choices - especially when it comes to confrontation. But aren't the best friends the ones you can be 100% honest with? I'd like to think so, but not everyone feels the same way.
7) Edited out. Thank you.
8) My dog is pooping everywhere, but I love him so much. I think this was the best thing we could've done to get ready for a baby. It was time, I needed someone else to love ad take care of. I miss him when I'm not with him, and the little guy is wonderful addition to our family.
9) Also edited.
10) I feel like I need to have a #10. Hmmm. This can be a wildcard entry. Oh, I know, a random picture from my wedding. This photo shows a framed picture I kept with me on my wedding day. It was an old photo of my grandfather, probably from the late 40's or 50's. He's the one that would call me "Pequena pero picosa" which I've turned in Picosita. There you go, a little bit of history for you.
Here's a list.
1) Today is "Super Tuesday" and because my stupid self is STILL registered in a city 5 hours away, I can't vote in the democratic or GOP primary. This isn't the worst thing that could happen actually. You see, I haven't throughly educated myself on all things political when it comes to the candidates, and what I know, I don't like. This way my "things to study list" narrows down from four candidates (plus Ron Paul) to two. Don't get me wrong, ideally there seems to be a couple of strong candidates, but it's hard to believe anything they say.
2) Tomorrow I'm helping administer a mock TAKS test to the 6th graders while the 7th and 8th take the real thing. As an educator I'm really up in arms about the TAKS test. For those of you non-Texans, the TAKS test is an assessment that determines whether you have the knowledge you need in the core subjects to move onto the next grade. In other words, you can work your tail off in school, have your daily grades and major projects cover any lower test scores - but if you take the TAKS and fail, you don't pass. There are opportunities to re-take, but test anxiety seems to be a growing issue in our schools. What licks my hide is I'll be in my room with the same kids ALL day which will begin to grow on my nerves seeing how they're not even art students. I'll survive, if anything, it'll be an easy day, right?
3) I've just discovered my baked chicken with stuffing is raw. What's up with that? I make it a ton of times, followed procedure, and I have raw chicken for dinner.
4) I've become quite the fan of online Guitar Hero. I'm not too bad, and have been playing for a couple of months. Recently we decided to hook the PS3 up online and have been battling pimple-faced, prebubesent teens to the Kaiser Chief's "Ruby," and Pearl Jam's "Even Flow." I've even dabbled in Call of Duty Four - Modern Warfare, and just achieved my first air strike.
5) I stayed after school an extra hour and a half helping a tear-filled student find her purse containing her ipod. Not exactly how I wanted to spend the first part of my evening, but her mom said she couldn't go home until she found it. We never found it, but mom opened the door.
6) I've had an altercation with who I consider(ed?) a close friend. The jury is still out but I'm getting too old for this type of stuff. It's hard to let things go, and even harder to always second guess your choices - especially when it comes to confrontation. But aren't the best friends the ones you can be 100% honest with? I'd like to think so, but not everyone feels the same way.
7) Edited out. Thank you.
8) My dog is pooping everywhere, but I love him so much. I think this was the best thing we could've done to get ready for a baby. It was time, I needed someone else to love ad take care of. I miss him when I'm not with him, and the little guy is wonderful addition to our family.
9) Also edited.
10) I feel like I need to have a #10. Hmmm. This can be a wildcard entry. Oh, I know, a random picture from my wedding. This photo shows a framed picture I kept with me on my wedding day. It was an old photo of my grandfather, probably from the late 40's or 50's. He's the one that would call me "Pequena pero picosa" which I've turned in Picosita. There you go, a little bit of history for you.
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