Adventures in car shopping

Here are some highlights from my most recent car purchasing experience.

1) This lot was different. The salesmen were lined up, ready for potential buyers. They decided what cars they were going to show me. They made the decisions on what I would or wouldn't like, or what was feasible with my budget...they're supposed to be experts. They weren't so much.

2) After dealing with a great guy who we felt comfortable with, his superior came to talk with us and get some info. It was like talking to a bland wall with a robotic type personality:

Zombie: Mrs. R_______, what is your occupation?

Me: I'm a school teacher

Zombie: That is great. How do you like it?

Me: I love it.

Zombie: That is great. Who is your employer?

Me: _______ I.S.D

Zombie: How do you like it there?

Me: Um, it's great.

Zombie: That's good. That's good. And what is your address?

Me: Blah, Blah, Blah Road, Blah Blah, Texas

Zombie: Is that an apartment?

Me: Townhouse

Zombie: How do you like it there? Is it nice?

Me (getting annoyed): Yeah, it's great.

Zombie: That's good. And your previous address?

Me: 2701 N Grapevine Mills Blvd.

Zombie: What city is that located?

(Are you f'ing serious???)

Me: Um, Grapevine.

Zombie: How did you like Grapevine?

UGH! You get the point??? It was the most bland, generic conversation ever. I wish I could illustrate the look on his face. His eyes were blank, as was his expression. His attempt to seem personable and interesting was a huge failure and I couldn't believe I allowed him to even look at my personal information.

3) To make things even more interesting, another higher up comes in, sits and asks:

Douche #2: Hey guys, how's it going?

Us: Great.

Douche #2: So let me ask, are you enjoying your service today?

Us: Sure, it's great.

Douche #2: And the car you test drove, if we get the numbers right, is this something you may like to purchase?

Us: Sure, if the numbers are right.

Douche #2: Great! That's all I needed to hear! Thanks guys! We're gonna get you a great deal and get you in a car TODAY! (Insert cheesy smile and thumbs up type personality here)

5) After this random encounter everything started to go downhill. The quick two-minute credit checks took more like 20 minutes, we were getting hungry, and we wondered if we should even be there. As we sat in our little glass cubicle, we could see all of the other "suits" sitting in their cubes. I looked over where two employees walked up and talked to a guy in the cube to our right. The guy gets up quickly, and angrily follows the two other guys as they walk out of his cube asking "You got a problem with me?!?!" Repeatedly. He's bumping on of the guy from behind, asking the same question over and over just waiting to to here the other guy say "yes" so he could hit him. I was sure I'd see fists blow. This dude WAS pissed. As this is going on, my sales guy comes in and I made a comment about the new entertainment. When I brought it to his attention that this squabble wasn't in fact just a playful response to the UT-OU game, management got involved and fired the guy on the spot! Not the guy that confronted the other guy, but the guy that was minding his own business. Yes, he was angered easily, and he may be a hot-head, but I still felt bad. It didn't help that his cube was right next to the one we were in so we saw him grab his things and storm out. The higher up goes in to make she he "Cleans out all of his sh!t." I playfully demanded that a major discount was in order after such a debacle.

6) To wrap things up, we made it to where we dealt with only the guy we felt comfortable with and not the two lemmings. We agreed on a deal, which leads me to one of the more embarrassing situations in my life. Hitting a big metal bong and hearing a bunch of car salesmen yell "Hey!" because yet another car was pawned off on a gullible suspect like myself. I take that back, because we got a great deal and this car will last me a long time. Well it better, I don't want to do that again for a long, long time.